Wouldn’t you know it. Finally someone figures out how to make things appear inside of me . . . then what happens!? I disappear. Bunch of pastry hating union folks . . . Well . . . I guess The Twinkie Picker is a dead effect now and with the death of the Twinkie comes the death of The Saga. It’s been a fun 5 and half years and over 60 Sagas . . . but all good things must come to an end, and as we say farewell to Twinkies, let us say farewell to those stories who have gone before us. 2013 will be the first Saga-less year, so let us welcome the new year and say thank you to all of you who’ve followed along all these years.
– Twinkie The Kid

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Is it true that “Everyone Needs a Hero?” I mean just because Bonnie Tyler claims “I need a Hero” doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone. I’ve heard a rumor that Brut is the Essence of Man . . . I thought that “For Every Man Who Wears Brut There’s a Woman Who Loves What He Smells Like.”

Look . . . whatever man, I’m not here to judge, I’m just trying to get people to decide what superhero best represents them and so far, old ladies think that they are The Hulk, and little boys want to be Wonder Woman but then again, who doesn’t? So anyway, I gotta go . . . Pooh is in the bag again, and he can’t breathe and there’s no more honey.

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Jeff: I’ll tell you what man . . . dang ol’ Sometimes . . . man . . .
Hank: Yep.
Dale: Yup.
Bill: I like M&M’s

Jeff: Yeah man . . . it’s like them dang ol’ . . . talkin’ bout coconut man . . .
Hank: Yep.
Dale: Yep.
Bill: I like Candy.

Jeff: Mmm . . . Hmm . . .
Hank: I’ll tell you what . . .
Dale: It’s like Boomhauer Said, “Sometimes you feel like a nut . . . ”
Bill: Yup.

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Note From Editor:

We have a returning guest “Saga Artist” this month . . . keeping it in the family for two months in a row, here’s my 14 year old son Michael Stone.

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Note From Editor:

In month’s past, so far, I’ve only allowed one person (other than myself) to author a Saga Story. That person, my 14 year old son Michael, is here again with his latest creation. Remember, the only two rules are to write whatever pops into your head, and you must use the title of the trick in the story. Here we go . . .

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In Saga-like fashion, I composed an email by writing the first thing that popped into my head . . . no editing. Below is that very email . . . help me . . . won’t you . . .

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Woah . . . did you feel that? It was like the whole Earth shifted . . . woah . . . there it was again. What’s that crackling sound? I think I’m being violated, but it feels right . . . which is kind of wrong. Oh great . . . now I’m naked.

This is ridiculous. What the heck is going on!? My golden skin is exposed . . . ow . . . ouch . . . ow . . . owie . . . ow . . . what the heck!?

Someone just, literally, ripped me in two and right at the Epicenter of the pain is a hundred dollar bill sticking out of my exposed gut . . . that ain’t right, and neither is this episode of The Saga.

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This month’s Saga Story comes from my best selling Frixion DVD. It is the second Saga Story to be written by my 13 year old son, Michael. Though it is short and sweet, when the punchline is read, hilarity is guaranteed to ensue. And Now, The Saga . . .

A long time ago, there lived a magician. For one of the magician’s tricks, he would stick an unsolved Rubik’s Cube in a wooden box, and take it back out to reveal that it was solved. At first, people thought that there were two cubes in the box until he showed that it was empty. No one ever guessed that Rubik’s Cubin’ midget was hiding against the wall of the box.

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You might remember back in the February Issue of The Saga that I tipped my secret to writing The Saga stories each month. I wrote one on the spot to show my son Michael how I did it. A few moments later, he took a crack at writing one. We’ve saved it to come forth this month, so ladies and gentlemen I present to you my son, Michael Stone and his debut (and only other person in the Universe to write a Saga story besides me) as a “The Saga” writer . . .

A long time ago in Hoyletown, there lived a pack of magic keys. These weren’t just any regular magic keys. They were special magical-keys. They were used to open magic doors in other magical places. But, they were also used for a trick called “Key-Oh-Nee Buh-Lo-Nee” Just like the magical powers of the keys, this magic trick isn’t just a normal magic trick.

Occasionally, some of the best magicians in the world will come to Hoyletown (Specifically Jeff Stone, as it’s known throughout the town of bicycle that he’s the best magician of all time) and collect three of the magical keys, and takes them back to whatever place that magician came from. Sounds like a bunch of Key-Oh-Nee Buh-Lo-Nee to me.

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So I named this trick for him. It just so happens that his birthday is this month, so the timing of the release of this Saga Story is perfect . . .

What’s black and white and lame all over . . . yep a chess board. Or rather a chess “bored.” Yeah, I’m a nerd, and I like rubik’s cubes, and magic, and math, but chess? Really? Nobody’s that nerdy? Well maybe some people are, but they’re nerds! Wait . . . wasn’t that my point!? I have no idea what I’m talking about.

All I know is that I’m stuck on this stupid checker board. I’m supposed to be the boss, but I’m only allowed to move a little bit at a time, one step at a time unless, some lame-o “castle” who has pretty much free reign of the lair, decides that he wants to be near me . . . then fine . . . he lets me move 2 steps.

I thought I was the king . . . then along comes Stone Cold Magic and somehow a card trick – It is an amazing card trick – takes over the world of Kingside Castling and suddenly my little “knights” near the castle are over. I’ll get you Stone Cold Magic. Curse you . . . I’ve now been shifted from checkerboard to Hoyletown . . . [shudder] [shiver] . . .

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